What a shame

So..I have this thing where I absolutely want to make friends, but I also am afraid of being judged and gossiped about. I want to get close to someone, but I just push them away? Why am I like that. So this is what happened today: 

I have just finished with my review session. Using my peripheral vision, this guy--I met when he joined my table in chemistry, but we eventually got assigned seating--was standing, waiting by the door. At first, I thought he just wanted to ask the professor a question since she was already occupied with another student. I was still copying notes from the board. Just when I was packing up a few minutes later and getting ready to leave, he was turning to leave. That was when I got suspicious. Everything happened so fast...I just walked the opposite way of where he left. Was he waiting for me..? Did he no longer wanted to clarify a question? He definitely looked back to see where I was going. Maybe I should of said something. Did he want to be my friend? Finally a boy friend (not boyfriend)? 

I am mean. 

Am I just over thinking this? 

I need to make connections.... //sigh// 2AM thoughts

You can never trust nobody. Words spread. One to another like wildfire. What secrets? What privacy? Have you no care? You can't respect me, so that's why I've lost my respect for you.