Exams

How do people finish 30+ mulitple choice questions and 2 short answers within 5-10 minutes? It is seriously difficult for me. Since I am usually one of the last to finish up, I try to finish the test as quickly as possible so that the professor or TAs won't have to wait for me. It feels like I am burdening them for waiting just. for. me.

Luau Goodies + Luau Dances

Yesterday I ordered my luau goodies, such as T-shirts, long sleeve shirt, crew neck sweater, and a hoodie. There were two different designs: 1) Front: Hanabata Days. Back: I Ka Wā Kamaki'i [The carefree days of childhood], and 2) Front: Ohana over Everything. Back: tribal "P." My favorite is the 2nd design. The total of my order went out to be $130, but it is not just for myself. 

For both my dances in Freshman and in Siva, I am on the floor. I know why though...my uneasiness and lack of confidence and smile. I am just really upset with people in Hawaii Club, especially in freshman because people be like staring me down like I want beef or should cash them outside or something. e_e Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Why am I letting them get in my way. 

Also, I am dancing at Jennings just for Siva. Jennings is a retirement community. :)

Lab Partner

So originally, I had a lab partner, but she threw up early today and could not make it to lab. She told me that she did try to tough it out, but that did not work out, so I ended up partnering up with an asian dude. He was talkative, quick, and a twin! At times, he can come real close and act super super casual like we have been long time friends, which made me extremely uncomfortable. We even grazed hands a bit, which made me super more uncomfortable. Any who, we finished the lab within 2 hours and we were outtttt! This was just a little bit about my lab partner. 

What a shame

So..I have this thing where I absolutely want to make friends, but I also am afraid of being judged and gossiped about. I want to get close to someone, but I just push them away? Why am I like that. So this is what happened today: 

I have just finished with my review session. Using my peripheral vision, this guy--I met when he joined my table in chemistry, but we eventually got assigned seating--was standing, waiting by the door. At first, I thought he just wanted to ask the professor a question since she was already occupied with another student. I was still copying notes from the board. Just when I was packing up a few minutes later and getting ready to leave, he was turning to leave. That was when I got suspicious. Everything happened so fast...I just walked the opposite way of where he left. Was he waiting for me..? Did he no longer wanted to clarify a question? He definitely looked back to see where I was going. Maybe I should of said something. Did he want to be my friend? Finally a boy friend (not boyfriend)? 

I am mean. 

Am I just over thinking this? 

I need to make connections.... //sigh// 2AM thoughts

Bullies

I get it. I'm anti-social and socially awkward, but I'm trying. It's difficult for me to make friends. But did you have to go that far? Behind my back? The lowest of the low. In front of everybody at that? What did I ever do to you? I really can't anymore. I don't want any part of your drama, but clearly that isn't going to work. I'm not in the clique of popular and gossiping group like you are. What did I do to you? Things like this can lead to a bigger mess. Things could happen that you will regret. But here I am...not going to do anything about it...and that makes me angry with myself. What can I even do... Why me...?

First Time Skiing!

5:49 AM

Right now I'm on my way to Mt. Hood! Sean, Aimy and I just left the apartment. It's foggy out, but still less foggy than the past few days. Because of this and the 8 inches of snow, we got school canceled for 3 days in a row. We only just got back from winter break and already entering winter term snowy, icy, and foggy. 

8:57 AM

Sean, Aimy and I are riding bus 59 to Mt Hood instead of driving all the way there. We all slept on the bus. I can't wait to get there! Currently it's 14 degrees out. It's very cold! 

Rode on the ski lift! It was so fun! Unfortunately, I couldn't take pictures of the view because my phone was back behind my schoolbag and I could not reach for fear of falling to my death. ><

4:00 PM
Back on the shuttle. Finally heading home. 

UPDATE [171115]
My arms and legs are in pain. My right hip as well because I kept falling on the right side. To be honest, it is so not easy getting up after falling because you will continue to ski and slip. 

UPDATE [171117]
No school today too, meaning that today has officially been 1 week off school. Wth?!? 

UPDATE [171118]
My professor extended days and time in order to cram everything that we are suppose to learn as assigned on the syllabus before Spring Term begins. Ugh... Well, originally Winter Term was suppose to be 11-ish days total, but now I only have 9 days. 

Sorry Professor

In Chem class, we got our course grades passed out yesterday while doing classwork. Most students were conversing amongst each others, while others were staring at their grades (me), and others were attempting work problems. My professor went over an objective, so that we could move on to the next. She was explaining and showing the answers on screen. Then she was like, "Okay now you can move on and stare at those problems." Omfg she was so done with us. ><

I was flirted on...for the first time??? say whaaaaat?

Apparently according to my sister and our roomie, I was being flirted on on Halloween Night. There were these bunch of college students...around 15 of them going treat-or-treating. We heard our doorbell rang, and for some reason we think we have a doorbell connected to our neighbors because no one has been ringing our bell. This cleared up the ding-dong ditches we thought we were receiving. Nah they probably are actually ding-dong ditching. Anywho, 3 guy students came to our door, one of them told us their name. They were asking us if we were fking lit. Nah man. Then they go complaining why we don't have candy. Maybe we don't want to give ya'll any. -A- Aimy asked if they were freshman. One of them said, "Yes." The others "Maybe." Ya'll fked up. Then they wanted to know "ONLY my name" says Aimy. I didn't give my name away. Then one of them "ONLY wanted to shake my hand." I didn't shake his hand. And then they were "ONLY looking at me." Wth. All three of us were were there. They were drunk, they weren't flirting with me. Naw, nope, can't be. 

Morning Breakfast

This morning was a lot of fun. The food I've been eating that's provided by the school is very average. I miss my parent's food. Fortunately, I live off-campus and not bound to a meal plan. Okay off topic. My pod and I ate breakfast and had spare time before FYS classes, so we played some more games like we did on the first day of orientation. We played a game of I think Mouse and Detective, and Ninja. It was great, I loved it. One girl accidentally slapped a pod leader. It wasn't in a bad way because she was trying to aim his hand. Anyway, we had a great laugh for 20 whole seconds. It was fun. 

When you are slowing dying inside and tears start to fall due to the overwhelming stress and your sister is downstairs with friends and saying "come in" at least twice now to whomever knocked on the door. 

Orientation for HI Students

Today was the first day of Orientation for HI students only. We met with our mentors and took a quite the long ride to Lloyd Center from school. We took the bus, the max, and the bus again. We split into groups, walked around, and got bubble teas. Then we left around 3 to get some food at Kauai Island Grill. To be honest, the food was dry, or at least my katsu was. But I don't blame them since it was pre-ordered and picked up like 5 hrs later. After that, I left with my sister when she came to pick me up while the others went to Target. 

It was great, but I had a headache by the end of day. I think it's because I wore my glasses a lot. I don't usually use it a lot, but this year I will be. :/ Also I need to make friends. I mean I got closer to some mentors and I will always have my sister and her friends, but I need to make some in my freshmen class! Ugh 7th grade all over again. 

People are so incredible.

I'm talking about people that I'm going to school with this year, my first year as a college student. Where I'm getting at is that I've been reading some posts on my class page (fb), and I'm just in awe of my classmates achievements. Like damn! Seriously?! What was I doing? Anime and drama was what I was doing all these years. I know... so sad. But still I think that they are all incredible and coming from a wide variety of backgrounds. I can't wait to meet people even though I'm awkward asf. 

It is For Real

I don't think that my mind has mentally fully think that I have now moved to a new home (not really), but I'm going to probably live here for the next 4 years. I thought to myself that it could be that I'm treating it like a trip... Also for the first time, I traveled on my own! :O Everything is very new to me. It's a long ride everywhere from my school. Well all that I have seen and gone to so far, and plus I've only been here for less than a day. So we'll see. I feel fine so far. I didn't cry on the plane, had a lot of stuffy nose though. lol, but I did tear up when I was leaving my home after 10 seconds because my dad had to go and say his stuff like, "Even if you are 30, 40, 50 years old, you are still my daughter. Blah blah blah." It was short, but I feel like I would really start to miss home a lot real soon. 

Huh..that's weird. I'm tearing up now ahah. Ashley was just here asking me to go eat. I will definitely miss those phrase, especially coming from my mom and dad...

To the Doctors

Yay a trip to the doctors today. TT^TT I got a shot too! >:[ And then again we do the peeing thing, like put it in a cup.. I never know how to describe this part! Got a lollipop :D 

(neEdLe!!)

After that, we went to pick up mommy from work at Ala Moana. Yup she be working at the shopping mall in the food court. I'm also in search for jobs too! Hopefully I find one soon! Aimy is working at tutti frutti and I'm the only one jobless. 

Aimy and I went to Aeropostale to buy boots which she wanted to get for the longest of time and now it's on sale! Good thing she waited. So sad she's already leaving and growing up so fast, but so am I. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I decided to tell Aimy that I wanted her to take our parents to the mainland with her for visit before coming back alone in mid August for college. Since, I'd be starting school already I don't want to ruin my perfect attendance. :) I wouldn't care if Ashley decides to go or not, but I'd like to be in charge for a week or 2 cleaning, cooking, shopping, walking to school (can't drive w/o adult yet TT.TT), and all those stuff with Justin and Ashley. They are pretty good with labor work too. I can ask them to do that. :) They'd be good house...husband/wife? with a great job before it at that! 

Heheh, my sibs and I went out for a short run when we got home, but it was sort of ruined because at the field where we were going to run were kids/teens playing baseball. :/ So Ashley and Justin just went for half a run around the field multiply times, but it still pretty big. Meanwhile, Aimy and I were using a big, long stick that's what she said to throw at a tree to get mangos. Fail though >< I ended leaving two of the sticks stuck on the tree. :< I was only trying to get that good stick Justin left at the top of the tree first. .-.

Yesterday

Yay Je (how I call my older sister). She got a call home from a school in Oregon and got accepted to the school. 

Aimy -->

This will never happen to me...I'm too stupid. ;l Not taking care of myself...and be the one who have ten thousand regrets in the future..